Letters

Caller 5: Hello, My name is Mr Tom Lighthead and I received this letter today stating you might not be taking my insurance anymore, I have been going there since 1965 and I dont understand what this is all about. I have a great uncle in Arkansas who also has been going there since 1950 and he doesnt know where his sister-in-law is. We all flew out to NY a few years ago to see Tilda and for the life of me, I just dont know what happened with that piece of bologna I had in my fridge.
Me: Ok, I can get you over to the person that can go over and explain that letter with you, one moment sir. "geeze get your mind together there Mister"
Caller 5: Do they hear well?
Me: yes I am sure they hear just fine. "no, you'll be speaking to a deaf person"

Caller 38: This is Dudley Dotip and I got a letter in the mail about my Insurance and your place of business. And I tell you I need to speak to someone TODAY. Did everybody get these ? or is it just me? " yes just you, they dont like your attitude and probably want you out"
Me: I will connect you with the person that can help you.
Caller 38: Well, will it be a live person? or a recording? " No, it will be a dead person"
Me: I will get you to a person who can help you.

Caller 735: I got this letter, that I " yes I know and why is your TV on fullblast?"
Hello? Hello?
Me: I hear you maam, I will get
Caller 735: can you hear me? Jack, maybe you better get on the spare phone upstairs, this woman sounds all mumbly. " I'm the mumbly one?
Me: maam I'm gonna get someone to help you.

Caller 4089: This is Mrs Gornad Robinson and I have been going there since 1627 and I received a let
Me: One moment. " man how many people got these damn letters"

Caller 12,097: This is Jezimuluthimus and I have been going there since 12 BC
Me: One moment. " What computer sent out these? I will find it and bash with a hammer"

Caller 400,975: This
Me: "tsstttstt " In the sound of Cesar Milan, dog whisperer.